TRI-cycle: handcycle hire

Bike hire: The golden ticket

Getting tooled up: a trip to the workshop

Optimism is essential!

I love it when a plan comes together!

Well, there's been a bit of a gap since my previous post! The summer holidays have come and gone, starting with the euphoria of no more school run, hurrah! (the only 'run' I do :D) then finishing with actually looking forward to the kids going back! With no clear information on how my condition is going to progress I'm very much about making the most of things while I can, so we've really crammed it in! I might need another 6 weeks to recover. The youngest child has started school this year. Whilst I'm pleased to have some rest time (the boy is a whirlwind of energy) I'm also left feeling a bit redundant. I'd told myself a few years ago that I'd be able to work more and get around to all the tasks/hobbies I never seem to have the time for. Life over those few years has adjusted course somewhat! Those lyrics in the title above 'you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone' really seem to stick at the moment. The restrictions imposed by the pandemic have really emphasized that. I can't be certain which lockdown was the one that we struggled with most, but for me it's actually the aftermath of lockdown that is hardest. We can go out and do things! There's a new enthusiasm for the outdoors and making the most of stuff. Well deserved praise is given for the workers who kept the country running. These are all great things! I'm really wondering as we tiptoe towards things building back up 'What the heck do I do now?!' I stopped my job as it just wasn't feasible with the leg issues and accessibility to venues. The youngest is off to school. Aside from my role as the kids chauffeur I'm left with a bit of a gap in my day. It feels as though I've lost a big part of me. That need to feel appreciated and like you're doing something that matters seems to be woven into me. I'm not teaching or conducting weddings anymore. Money can't fix me, nor is it down to just trying harder! The holidays had presented lots of situations where I pushed more than I should and was duly punished. I'm definitely still adjusting. Apparently I like to learn the hard way! The lesson here: Trade your expectations for appreciation and the world changes instantly. Instead of focusing so much on what I can't do and the frustration that brings, I'm learning to frame things with gratitude and appreciation. The money that enabled me to buy a handbike came from such tragic circumstances. I'm very grateful for it, and at the same time painfully aware of the huge financial barrier preventing others from such an experience. No, the money can't fix my legs, but the bike is the next best thing. I get to continue being 'adventure mum' which is priceless. Something I often observed growing up was the euphoric response to giving. The idea that, whilst it's lovely to be the recipient of a gift, there's a lot of, if not more joy to be gained from giving. This seemed a bit confusing when i was younger, getting something was better than giving something away right?! When I had my own children it really clicked just how nice it is to see the joy on their faces. Having gone through a considerable amount of difficult times in life I've watched people go above and beyond expectations to help. There seems to be a direct correlation between this and feeling appreciated.

A recent survey I carried out indicated all participants (except one!) wanting to be more active. The one who opted for 'no' was already very active with at least 150+ minutes a week exercise! This led me to consider the barriers to being more active, most noted was the lack of time and childcare. The survey was a research tool for me to gain some insight into how to set up the handbike hire to meet customer needs, which has led me to question 'if we have limited free time, surely we'd want to spend it doing something we love?' Couple that thought with a comment I often get when out riding 'I bet that's hard work eh love!' and I'm suddenly wondering how shared that perception might be? Who wants to spend precious free time doing hard work?!?! My response to that is that handbike doesn't have to be hard work! There's an electric assist on it so that I can choose between using the bike as a way to have a nice easy trip or to work a bit more on my fitness levels. I've been slowly building myself up and setting goals which has been a great sense of achievement, and I can see progress in my increased energy level. I'm not riding around with mega buff arms so there's a big visual clue that it's not too hard! However, it is still exercise. Yeah I've just said that word...EXERCISE! I'm not sure how that word makes you feel, but for me there are mixed emotions. As an ex member of the gym I look back on my time there as a love hate relationship. I LOVED my time there because I got to hang out with my niece as her gym buddy, it's nice to have company! I'd signed up purely to support her and it worked well. I'd highly recommend a buddy as you feel like you don't want to bail out on someone so you stick to going. Personally I saw it as time out of the house for me to chill a bit, no demand to hit a certain weight or lift a set amount, just a no pressure thing. I admired my nieces dedication and loved seeing her getting stronger as the weeks passed, but I couldn't say the same about me. I didn't know at that point that I had SPG5a and was beginning to get frustrated with not seeing even slight improvements. Having started the gym with a happy-go-lucky vibe I'd found myself sliding towards HATE for my body for struggling, it was even starting to go backwards and I seemed to be getting worse!!! In my case it triggered the journey that led to my diagnosis and an explanation for my steep drop in performance! I wasn't doing the right exercise for me and was putting strain on myself. It's important to find the right exercise for you. Unsurprisingly, science offers up an explanation for my love / hate exercise relationship: According to science, the reason you hate exercise so much (you might not hate it!) might have nothing to do with the actual exercise, but rather a problem that runs much deeper: Weight loss is often peoples focus at the gym (think: weighing themselves each time, calorie burn workouts, or rigid schedules with the hope of losing weight). People also often focus on their perceived flaws as motivation (hoping for toned arms, critiques of their body in the mirror, or aiming toward a 'better' figure). But psychology research illustrates that these tactics don't actually work. They're self-sabotaging, which results in worse motivation in the long run. A number of psychological studies suggest that appearance-focused or body-shaming motivation tactics are actually a large part of the problem. They found negative correlations between weight stigma and a motivation to exercise. The takeaway: The more focus there is on bodies looking 'good' or 'bad' based on size or 'ideal' shape, the less enjoyable exercise becomes. You might be wondering what is the girl on the bike rambling on about?! As someone who is certainly guilty of focusing on perceived flaws, I wasn't aware of the impact of appearance-based motivation. All that time spent at the gym and nothing to show for it?! No visible changes to my body? What was the point? In a world where we've become accustomed to a faster pace of life with instant gratification thanks to the internet and phones, the lack of results wasn't good enough (did I mention I can be impatient!) Appearance-based motivation is externally driven, rather than internally driven - which can generate an all-or-nothing relationship with exercise that doesn't work. It hadn't worked for me, hence my ambivalent attitude. When we start exercising for pleasure and fun, exercise can become intrinsically motivating, meaning we are motivated from within. If its not enjoyable, it's going to be really hard to stay motivated! I mentioned being an ex member of the gym, I haven't been back there since. After my diagnosis I gave up on the idea of ever being fit and had resigned myself to not achieving those toned arms or better figure. In honesty, I was a bit depressed and felt sad that my appearance was changing. Progression has led to my spine curving in at the base which forces my cake tum to stick out! My knees are turning inwards like they're desperate for face-to-face conversation and my feet turn a purple zombie-ish colour! nice eh! Now that my exercise is restricted by my current ability, it mainly consists of occasional kayaking and regular rides on my bike. You know what... I've never felt better about myself! I'm so happy to be able to explore by bike and kayak that I don't think of it as exercise at all. The focus for me is now very much about the ability in disability. Do I miss fully functioning legs? of course! I'm very aware of how useful they were! Can I still be an active, adventure mum? You bet I can!!! Is accessibility a barrier? Sometimes that's a yes, sometimes it's just not something I'd want to do regardless of my legs (rock climbing would still be a solid pass!) When you take the focus away from that 'ideal' body and the pressures that come with it, you can start to enjoy exercise. You'll be rewarded with the great mental health benefits: less tension, stress and mental fatigue natural energy boost a sense of achievement more focus and motivation feeling less angry or frustrated boosting your self-esteem helping you concentrate as well as sleep well and feel better The physical benefits will naturally follow and you might even find it fun! Personally, I've gained a lot more confidence, which, when I'm signing myself up for long rides that I'm not certain I'll survive, is not necessarily a good thing! It's about finding the right exercise for you. I didn't like cycling before because it wasn't the most comfortable exercise, safe to say the ability to put my feet up and sit in a comfy seat is a definite perk to the XCR.

This week I was fortunate enough to take part in a ride (23 ish miles) with some of the amazing guys from Endeavour Community Cycle Club in Plymouth. I should start with explaining why on earth I'd signed myself up for another long ride with no idea if I'd actually manage to complete it, but there's no clear reason! Perhaps it was due to finishing the 17 mile challenge and feeling a tad cocky (apparently I'd forgotten about aching arms!!!) Maybe it was the supportive advice I'd received from them on a handcycle group on Facebook, coupled with curiosity about their cycling story and an eagerness to meet other people to relate to. Whatever the reason (and despite my initial nerves about holding them all back that almost made me cancel at the 11th hour) I went on the longest ride I've done so far! These guys are mostly ex forces, I think knowing that might have been the cause of my nerves!!! I had visions of them putting me through my paces and shouting orders, eek! The core values of the group really shine through, no one is left behind (they did joke about this!) and they really care about supporting each member to achieve their goal. There were a few orders shouted! However it was massively appreciated, having someone let you know about oncoming bikes and keeping a look out takes the stress out of being on a handcycle on a busy trail. Guys it was a pleasure to meet you, I enjoyed the ride and enjoyed the cake even more! I've learned it's a good idea to reach out to others, there are some great people out there.  I highly recommend a stop off at Bodmin Jail for a post ride treat, check out their menu where you'll find desserts listed under 'last rites'. Opt for the cheesecake if you're partial to a sizeable scoop of clotted cream!!!

What is a sportive? A sportive is an organised ride which you pay to do, it follows a planned and signposted route with both medical and mechanical support available. For the super human lot who opt for the longer distances there are feeding stations too. I'd like to think that I could have opted for a longer distance with food as an incentive, but I knew I was already being optimistic with my goal of the 'inspire' 17 miles route. The beauty is that they take the guesswork out of riding somewhere new, think of them as a great way to see new places with the route planning done and lots of very useful signposts! Most events have several routes covering different distances to suit all levels of riders from novice to elite. The wonderful thing about a sportive is that it's NOT a race!!! You may get a ‘race number’ but this is more for the organiser’s benefit (so they can tell if you’re part of the event or not). Having not had my bike for very long, and never having been on the roads with it, I decided the best option was the shortest route to test out how both me and the XCR would do! All I had to do was turn up and take things at my own pace.

Cardinham woods is located in central Cornwall. It sits on the edge of Bodmin, easily accessed from the A38, and has a well deserved reputation for some pretty epic mountain bike trails. So what does it have on offer when those awesome mtb trails aren't accessible for a handbike (amtb)? It boasts 4 walking trails which are varied in their ability level, ranging from a gentle stroll to a steep path that comes with a warning that it may not be suitable for inexperienced walkers! This provides the enthusiastic handbiker with some confidence building trails and a chance to get a real adrenaline rush should you want it. Perhaps more importantly, Cardinham woods has a cafe that caters for this cake loving coeliac! Woods cafe is conveniently situated right near the point at which the trails finish, ready with a cake reward if you so wish. On to the trails...